To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are..

Oh yeah, sementara tunggu pukul 6 ni, aku habiskan masa usha fashion bloggers. Duhh dorang semua tu cantik-cantik. Haa sapa kata kalau bertudung pun tak boleh bergaya? Dorang berfashion, cantik je tau. Tak nampak hodoh pun, sopan je. Ngaa jelesnya =.=

Dalam masa yang sama, aku terfikir. Ramainya orang yang hebat-hebat kat luar tu. Ramainya orang yang berjaya kat luar sana tu. Buat aku rasa sangat risau dengan kehidupan Hidayah Razali yang akan datang ni. Serious sangat risau. Tapi lebih baik aku pentingkan dan fokuskan dengan foundation aku dulu. Benda paling penting. Sangat penting.

Ngaa, buat aku rasa malas terus terus nak usik blog dan facebook. Aku fikir, bukak sekali sekala usha apa yang patut dah la. Lagipun, makin hari aku makin tulis benda entah apa-apa la dalam blog ni. Cuma aku rasa, taknak update blog langsung tu memang susah. Sebab selama ni, aku banyak cerita kat sini je, eventhough tak semua. Aku taktau nak bercerita apa sangat dengan orang lain macam aku cerita dekat blog. Sebab tu la bosan. Nuhh?

Entah-entah. 

Sambil mandi nanti, biar aku fikir dan buat keputusan yang terbaik untuk sendiri. Mana tau dapat, kan? Mungkin.

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Today is 27 October

Tarikh atas tu tak de kaitan apa-apa pun. So yeah. Kiranya macam harini punya misi dan visi untuk 'hari ini lebih better dari semalam' macam tercapai la jugak en. Nasib la aku bangun pagi je dah ada mesej yang mushy dovey en. Ececeyy apa cinta-cinta? Tak de maknanya. Karate karang. Then, trick bukak langsir luas-luas nak kasik cahaya masuk memang jadik habis la. Terkelip-kelip mata aku. Sakit kot. Tapi tahan je la kan. Aku tak terus mandi pun sebab tersangkut dekat mesej orang ni (mesti ingat kita mesej boypren, eh hello, no boypren, kena terajang dengan mak karang). Dah la sejuk, maklumlah.. baru je baik demam. Actually kalau keluar dari bilik ni sekejap, aku boleh rasa hubungan kekeluargaan tu. Even though tak pada yang secukupnya en. Kira cukup buat aku tersenyum dan berfikir sejenak. Okay merepek. Memang, memang aku bersemangat semacam je harini. Many good things happen between me and some people. Tak rasa macam invisible girl sangat dah. It's fun and I'm happy.

#barubaikdemammemanglahexcited

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Randomly, for tonight

1. I will just look at those picture. It makes me smile.
2. I will hear to the songs that makes me feel alive again.
3. I will enjoy my second bath in one day.
4. I will sing out loud and dance.
5. I will write and write and write and write until no more pages left.
6. I will keep dreaming something that will never happen.
7. I will eat chocolate again and again.
8. I will do something that I like, snapping.
9. I will cheer myself with people around me.
10. I will be deaf when I hear some annoying noise outside there.
11. I will never cut my wrist, it is stupid.
12. I will never take dog's shit, ecstasy, drugs etc.
13. I will never do suicide eventhough I'd think about it many times before. 
14. I will sit down and read my most favourite books and comics.
15. I will lay down with my pants and shirts on.
16. I will hug my teddy bears that was bought for me from my mom.
17. I will read the old messages in my Save Messages, twice before I sleep.
18. I will hear to a soft lullaby, River Flows in You.
19. I need to eat more and more when I feel pain in my head.
20. I will have my sight on random blogs.
21. I will sleep without anyone beside me.
22. I will never trust someone that dont trust me.
23. I will never miss someone that dont really appreciate me.

I love my life and I wont ruin it with someting reckless.

#yayarindukoranglah

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It is not the end of one's life

Well, tak normal lah Hidayah Razali kalau dia kata dia tak rasa apa-apa sekarang. Bukan Hidayah Razali lah kalau dia kata dia sangat kuat sekarang. Tapi kau kena sangat percaya yang semua orang berubah. As time keep slipping by, people changed. Tanpa kita sedar, kita let go semua benda yang berharga semata-mata melayan resah dan sedih dalam hati yang entah apa-apa.

Hei, sedar lah. Wake up. This is the real life. Hidup kau sekarang bukannya macam cerita dongeng Cinderella ataupun Snow White. Hidup kau sekarang adalah yang paling real di mana kau sendiri yang kena susun cantik-cantik masa depan kau. Kalau rajin, bagi masa depan kau yang kau dah rancang tu berjalan dengan flow yang cantik dan rentak yang paling sweet.

Pandang dunia ni sebagai something yang real dan bukan fantasy semata-mata. Kita semua bukan selamanya budak tadika. Kita membesar, dan terus dewasa.

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Tak jadik nak buat entri yang excited melampau.

I lost one or two followers. I know its going to be happen. I told ya, my blog was nothing. Theres nothing interesting that you can read here. As even me myself pun macam dah malas sangat nak berblogging. Busy sangat. Boleh behenti sekarang je tak?

Aku mengantuk sangat. Esok lusa boleh update lagi kan. Tu pun kalau rajin.

#actually selepas entri ini dah diupload nanti, ada beberapa perkara yang perlu dilakukan. tanpa ready. secara tiba-tiba. sangat tak bersedia. dan sekarang dah selesai, mood pulak dah swing entah ke mana. jadi, maaf. entri aku selepas sebulan tak update adalah sangat tett untuk anda baca. who really cares? Haha

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I hate to say goodbye

Even though I know, and I believe, that nothing lasts forever and all people have to deal with it, I am still struggling to understand the process of human separation. Yes, we could meet someday, but everything's changing that time. That is the only thing I'm afraid of. Okay, if they say don't think about what will happen next, just live your life to the fullest in present, wallahi, it ends the same!

How could I forget someone like you? You have came into my everyday life, put a smile in my face,made me laugh like there's no tomorrow and then now you're leaving? What do you expect me to feel? God, I hate dealing with consequences!

We came, we met, we left, we moved on and finally we forgot. I hate saying goodbye. Please, I'm not being dramatic. I don't get influenced by hypocritically bullshit movies or stuff because this is so real. However, I feel so lucky, to have known those people who made goodbye so hard to say to.

I take friendship seriously. I hate getting closely attached to people because I don't want to get hurt in the end.

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I want to be the gravity of your universe

Suddenly, I'm in LOVE <3 with this guy called Cody Simpson

#credittoAmirahAzyan(:

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Angin dan Awan

Ah angin. Angin sejuk suka tampar-tampar lembut pipi aku yang kureng lembutnya ;P Aku suka kan angin. Aku suka kan hujan. Aku suka kan matahari. Aku suka kan awan. Aku nak jadik awan.

Beberapa minggu yang lalu, rakan sebilik aku ; Fazira, tanya soalan yang aku rasa sangat familiar. Soalan yang aku rasa macam ada orang pernah tanya. "Kalau kau bukan manusia, kau nak jadik apa?" Aku nak jadik awan.

Awan cantik. Awan yang bebas. Awan yang putih-putih dan kadang-kadang hitam sebab kenyang dengan air. Awan yang kadang-kadang tak bersama kita tapi kita tahu dia ada bersama kita, somewhere. Awan yang diperlukan time matahari panas gedik-gedik.

*I wish I could write something better than this. Tapi ini pun semua keluar dari otak yang lahir dari hati. Wah, ape tu?


p/s 1 : Amira, Annisa, Farah, Ain, lama tak jumpa. Rindu gila dohh.
p/s 2 : Amirah, Fakhira and Cha, Yaya rindu korang sangat-sangat ni. Bila nak jumpa lagi?

#rasamacamsamaje

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Melodi Petang

Di luar hujan lebat

Aku berdiri di tepi tingkap yang sengaja dibuka

memerhatikan langit petang yang menghitam

hujan yang menderau lebat

melencong akibat ditiup angin

lalu mencurah ke atas dedaun

dan pokok yang dahagakan air.

Sejuk dan indah sekali

ciptaan-Mu Tuhan.

Hujan sentiasa menggembirakan aku

walaupun usia terus meningkat

hujan juga yang ditunggu.

#petangpetangmacamnisedapkalauminumteh

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Do my best to keep you satisfied, and I failed.

Its 4:30 in the morning and here I am. Cant sleep or dont want to sleep? Both actually. I suppose not to sleep tonight or else I'll feel regret tomorrow for not spending my time genius-ly. All alone in the dark room with a small light from the moon. Listening to Baby I'm Yours. Speechless for awhile. Hypnotized by his mesmerizing voice. I'm tired. I shall go to sleep, dreaming of beautiful dreams. Till then, G'night.

A Sungai Lui of Aizat Amdan surely make me fall to sleep, with serene. Forgetting the shits you did. No, accepting the shits you did, are the right one.

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10 Favourite songs

1. If I Die Young - The Band Perry

2. Deeper Conversation - Yuna

3. Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) - Lady Gaga

4. Tonight - Enrique Iglesias ft. Ludacris

5. Never Knew I Needed - Ne-Yo

6. Should Be Me - Justin Bieber

7. Written In The Stars - Tinie Tempah ft. Eric Turner
8. Talking To The Moon - Bruno Mars
9. Loving You Tonight - Andrew Allan
10. Just A Dream - Nelly

These are just the current favourite songs that I listen to everyday and play it over and over again. Oh ya, I love oldies too. It just that I dont remember the title :)

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So you think

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10 Important People.

1. Asmah Ayob
2. Razali Dollah @ Abu
3. Muhammad Hilmi Razali
4. Nur Hidayu Razali
5. Nur Hidayati Razali
6. Muhammad Hilman Razali
7. Nur Hidayatul Aina Razali
8. Nur Hidayatul Aini Razali
9. Me myself
10. You

Basically, everyone is important to me. But the top listed is the most important and needed in my life. I love all my friends, even though I did not state their names here. So, if your name is not here, I am sorry. Maybe it just because. 

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