I'm not judging, I'm just saying...

"Under appreciated" scholars can just get over themselves! I am serious. I could not be more over people being jerks to me over stuff that is really unimportant.

Don't be mean just because you think I know less than you about a subject; don't be disrespectful and talk down to me.

If you let my friendship with you be ruined over something stupid, you're a donkey.

If you let something you believe in keep you from loving anyone, anyone at all, you definitely aren't utilizing anything that comes from good. 

Or positive. Or smart for that matter.

You're just fulfilling your little prophecy that everyone hates you because you know more than them and no one understands you because you are so innovative and different form everybody else.

Guess what? It's all bull and you're a jerk at the end of the day.

So stop it!

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Sometimes, I just don't have the answers.

You know, I don't know everything. And I can't read your mind. Just so you all know.

Man, I am really frustrated with some things lately. I have a couple of friendships that just seem to be awkward or weird no matter what I do and I hate that. It's so draining. And then crazy stuff happens that's out of my control and it's just weird. And weird again.

I mean, I can't control what other people think. Never have been able to. Oh, I've tried. I've attempted. And I have failed miserably. Sometimes, I just don't know what to do anymore. And I get really frustrated really easily after long periods of awkwardness with people. It's lame.

I don't know what to do to make things better sometimes. And after enough of that, I just want to give up. Cause I feel like I've exhausted a lot of avenues to make things better, but it just doesn't get better. I end up taking the other person's pain onto my shoulders and carrying it around. It's not my job to do so. My job is to let Allah handle those things. But I keep making myself crazy trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. Or what else I could do to make it better. But I don't know. I just don't have the answers.

Try again? Sure. I will. But if other parties don't start to give a little as well, things will never get better. I'm just saying.

Recognize this. Do something about it.

I'm not a magician, people.

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Relive The Past

Do you ever have those moments in the past that you wish you could relive? Were there times you wished you acted differently? Perhaps wish you could apologize to someone who you can no longer communicate with? Perhaps wish you could make a different decision? Perhaps wish you could just relive a joyful memory? Do you ever wish you could go back in time and relive one of your favorite memories? 

The awesome thing about the future is that you can redo that stuff WITH the added benefit of having gained the knowledge from the past. What I mean is that you can apologize to people now. You can make different decisions. You can more thoroughly enjoy present activities! You don’t have to wait. We don’t have to live behind shameful memories. We don’t have to live with tears on our faces. We don’t have to live with regrets. 

---

thanks for reading (:

---

What to do?

Peace be upon you :)

.......

Ok. Such a not-so-okay feelings in here, I mean when I'm writing, typing this. Why? Um, maybe because of my previous post. Yeah, I did act like so not a mature girl. Completely a kids that out of his/her brain. Sorry. I cant keep it any longer and I dont know to who I will chit-chatting about my problems. 

As you know, I dont have many friends and yeah, not proud of it. I may have a best-best-ever-best friends, now and then. But you know, humans - there are thousands (and more more) of people breathing the same air like us, thousands (and more more) of attitudes that are maybe weird, normal, and such la kan. Malas la nak list.

Oh god, Yaya. What are you actually trying to say here? 

um. i dont know. Ok. I'll just shut the f up then.

#reallydon'tknowwhattodo

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Renungan :)

Bak kata matluthfi, jangan lah terlalu menilai seseorang dari luaran. Diri sendiri pun tak betul. Nak nasihat org tu boleh, tapi sekali sekala, buat la refleksi diri juga kan? Terima kasih matluthfi comel :)

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Problemo~

Keep calm and move on. but, jangan la calm sangat ye. Betul apa yg dia cakap. Terima kasih mathlutfi comel :)

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Gute Nacht

My dad went to Johor, yeah again. I'm fine with it. I completely understand that he has been working very for us, for our family. I am not that okay tonight for some reason. Ahh let it be. Tomorrow, when I wake up, everything will be okay. As usual.

I'm going to sleep now. It is difficult to think wisely in these circumstances.

#mataakupedih

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Hahh nanges

Good morning folks. I was not in a good shape, mentally. You know, I am not a person that will burst into tears at all time. Or should I just say that I am not really a girl that easily shed tears. Tears, I am lack of that thing. For my 18 years and 7 months of breathing, I don't cry over stupid or nonsense or not serious or yadayada things.

Last night, I sleep with tears. Notice the word, tears or should I capitalized that word so that you will understand? Ok, TEARSSS. Got it? Good. Em. Its hurt. Yes, in a such seriously damn way. I don't know. I just find it extremely hurt my feelings. Yeah, that stupid thoughts of mine and that stupid mind of mine and that reckless me of me.

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Waiting Outside The Lines :)

*mukadiacomelmacambudakkeciltapisuaradiamacamorangbesar <3

---

thanks for reading (:

---

I miss you hardly, friends :')

I have friends. A lot of friends that taught me the meaning of friendship. Friends who taught me the meaning of patience. During my study at IIUM, I've met many people who have different character and a different way of thinking. Some of them have matured and some of them are still childish. Some of them are capable of differentiate between good and bad, some are still lagging behind. Some of them are ready to become a university student, and some are still dreaming that they were still in high school environment.

I have several close friends. Each of them has different characters, different way of thinking and a different stance. That variety makes me learn many new things in life. Friendship, learning, relationships, life and many more. I am very grateful for knowing them. I hope that this friendship will not be split. Although the trials and tribulations that will befall us, we will try to deal with maturity.

We have been apart a few weeks. This situation is testing our feelings. Alhamdulillah, we still survive until now. I hope we stay together. Guys, I miss you all hardly.

*My English is horrible, enough said.

---

thanks for reading (:

---

You saw this coming

I'm tired of running, I got it in the end.

I'm just a human. I'm prone to frailty and impulsiveness that bring myself to create my own sorrows. At times, when nothing else matters but the desires of my heart, I got myself into situations I never think of. I just dive into it, because it looks promising, inviting and tempting.

Revenge, it all turned against me. I chose my path and this the price I have to pay.
Love, I admit. At first, it felt good. It made me high, euphoric and it seemed like it was never going to end. I was blinded, I didn't look anywhere, I focused on you. 
I dragged you down with me, helped you to see with your own eyes how life is not always what it seems. I was there for every fall, you see.
You told me how you've been, been waiting for me. 
This is for you. The note you left behind was not only owned for me. It was owned for everyone, that growing disease is called need. I have it and it's not for you.
Take this, I'm pointing this straight to you. Your promises failed in my hands as I walked away from you. I'm done here and there's nothing left for you. 
I don't think carrying heavy loads in our lives is an option if we want to live in contentment. So don't lie to yourself. Don't hold on to something that is no longer there. Let yourself go as I did.

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Hide

A'ah. Kadang-kadang memang macam cepat tak puas hati je rasanya. Tapi bila fikir balik, tak patut la fikir banyak-banyak. Buat rileks sudah. Buat apa tambah lagi benda yang tak sepatutnya tu didalam kepala kan. Jadi, si Yaya sedang mendownload lagu-lagu yang perlu didengar sebagai lullaby. Dan decide untuk cuba tidur awal supaya tak rasa malu lagi. Bangun lambat macam sangat rugi la. Bukan macam, memang rugi. Harap-harapnya cuti kali ni terisi dengan benda berfaedah banyak-banyak. InsyaAllah, nothing is impossible :)

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Leaving you hurt even more.

Benda hidup yang ada akal dan nafsu adalah manusia. Manusia ada dua. Lelaki dan perempuan. Lelaki dan perempuan adalah sama. Lelaki dan perempuan adalah berbeza. Kan? Betul la apa yang aku cakap ni. Ok. Kehidupan manusia ada banyak stage. Dari hanya sebesar bantal peluk baby tu sampai lah besar gedabak kan.

Em. Ok. Aku taktau nak cerita apa sebenarnya ni. Haha. Abaikan introduction yang macam agak bajet itu. Takde ape laa. Aku cuma nak cakap. Aku ni manusia biasa je weh. Nak kata kuat sangat tu takde la jugak. Nak kata fragile tu memang tak la kan. Aku kuat lagi. Tapi macam kayu jugak la kan, lama-lama reput jugak nanti. Sudah-sudah la tu buat aku macam ni. Eh aku tak kesah, nak buat lagi buat la.


Cuma, ye la. What goes around comes around la kan. Hehe *aku sengih paling cantik untuk kau ni*

---

thanks for reading (:

---

Such a beautiful night.

What do you do when you're sad?

I read a book and pretend I’ve entered another realm. I let myself feel what the characters in the story are feeling and I adopt their joy as my own. And when I put down that book, I tell myself that tomorrow, that happiness will be mine and mine alone. I tell myself that tomorrow, I won’t have to rely on books to keep me happy anymore.

Bottomline: Faith gets me through the day (:

"In happiness there's sadness. In sadness there's happiness. Life's balanced that way".

- Diana Rikasari

---

thanks for reading (:

---