Sometimes, I wonder, if this really right? Am I too selfish? Am I doing the right thing? These kind of questions always ring in my head every time I want to make a decision, when I really think hard. Most of the times, I don't bother about any of these. Yes, people are selfish just like that, there are no such thing as magnanimous people.
I don't enjoy much hanging around with friends without solid purposes. I don't 'lepak', 'shisha', drinking, sneaking out, smoking, touching any opposite gender or texting everyone everyday until I run out of credits. I find it is too shallow-minded for me to do. That's not it. How should I say it? Ah, IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT I'D ENJOY TO DO. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, I know my capabilities and my wisdom, that's why I never bother any of that. A person like me, as you might think, I would probably shut myself in my room and write suicide notes with butterflies on them and psycho myself out about having multiple personality disorder.
On the contrary, I've been spending time learning how to bake cakes or cookies with a big butterfly on, learning fairy pattern make up, reading about sports news, research about psychology-related-stories-and-matters. Simply put, current interests. I'm very fickle, I tend to learn different things at the same time. Eventually, I forget everything. Yes, thanks to my short-term-memory-loss.
Something ticks me today. The fact that my parents' room has no light that they have to depend on the dim side lamp for weeks and their worn out bed sheet on the dusty bed frame. I feel bad, I feel terrible. I'm not born in a wealthy family where my needs can be fulfilled. I'm taught to get things done by my own and at the same time being spoiled without getting scolded for not doing the things that I should do. Yes, I am well aware of any of that. However, here I am sitting in front of this monitor typing to the public, shamelessly admitting. Not that I care that you know it now. Huh.
I told myself over and over again, once I get my first salary, I will buy them a nice bed sheet, even a cheap one (I don't care) I make a promise now that I will clean their room tomorrow. And I really want to send them to Mekah for them to be able to perform hajj and umrah.
I promise.
On the contrary, I've been spending time learning how to bake cakes or cookies with a big butterfly on, learning fairy pattern make up, reading about sports news, research about psychology-related-stories-and-matters. Simply put, current interests. I'm very fickle, I tend to learn different things at the same time. Eventually, I forget everything. Yes, thanks to my short-term-memory-loss.
I told myself over and over again, once I get my first salary, I will buy them a nice bed sheet, even a cheap one (I don't care) I make a promise now that I will clean their room tomorrow. And I really want to send them to Mekah for them to be able to perform hajj and umrah.
I promise.
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